Flies

Weird title, right?  Just something that hit me a unusual the other day and I am finally getting around to writing about it.  So far all of you know that I love this country and I am sad that I will be leaving it soon.

Something I noticed was that flies survive here in the wintertime and it can't be because it doesn't get cold.  I gets cold here.  I was sitting at this computer this morning and watching my breath.  It is actually colder in the house, most of the time, than it is outside.  Imagine going outside to warm up?

I am not sure if I have mentioned this other peculuarity about this place.  People rarely knock on your door.  If they want your attention, they stand just on the other side of the property line and clap their hands.  Once you acknowledge them, you ask them to come to the door.  

Another thing that is different.  When I used to do a sinus clearing.  Actually breathing in water so I can clear my upper sinuses, I know some of you have actually done this.  When I used to do it in and around Austin thing really stinked.  Down here the air is so clear that after I do it, nothing changes; it is still sweet smelling.  If I could use that as a description, because I don't actually smell anything.  Not really looking forward to moving back to the polluted air of the US.

I am nervous about going back.  I know that I am going to suffer some kind of culture shock when I step off the plane in Miami.  I am not sure what it will be but thinking about it makes me nervous.  I am not accustomed to being around large groups of people.  I was a the parade that celebrated 150 years that Paysandu, Uruguay has existed; the streets were lined with practically everyone that lives in this city and I was not bothered in the least, but thinking about stepping into a crowed airport is another story.

I will try to keep you all more closely apprised of what is happening.

Man Up Time

Much to the dissatisfaction to a few people in the United States this is going to be a disappointment.  My younger brother gave me some advice the other day and I am going to take him up on it.  It IS time for me to man up, and stop running to a security blanket everytime I find myself in what I deem to be a losing or uncontrollable situation.

I am going to find a place to live here in Uruguay, for now in Paysandu and learn to live by myself.  I have never lived really alone.  I have lived by myself for a period of time but only once when I didn't have someone to go to.  I can afford to live here, put money a savings and live really well here.  Not much to do here but  there are buses that go places.  I have a friend here that likes to go fishing.  He is a bit of a womanizer but we all have our quirks.  Just as long as he doesn't try and get me hooked up.  Another person, that I have a great deal of respect for, gave me the same advice as my brother, and I am going to Man Up and give it a shot.  My cousin, Buddy, offered to buy me a return ticket to the States and I will never be able to truly tell him how much I appreciate that.  The people that offered me a place to stay, Marion and Darren, Thank you very much.  Karen, thanks for telling me that I can come live in St. Louis.  I need to grow up a little bit.  It is going to be scary but I think it is going to be fun.  I will have to really bare down and practice my Spanish.  It is good enough for most conversations, especially after I tell them that I am an American and still working on my Spanish.  One thing for sure, I will definitely have more free time for fishing.  Going to be living kind of a spartan life for awhile.  I will have the basics in furnishings, just need to figure out how to get a stove and a refrigerator.  That was a word I am not used to using.  I was going to type heladera but 99% of you wouldn't know what that is.  

I am not going to ask you to pray for me because there are far more important things you can pray for.  Keep me in your thoughts and send me encouraging emails ever so often.

I don't know if it will eventually work out between Fabiana and I, but I have high hopes.  She is the love of my life.  If nothing happens that brings us back together, then like the expression goes "que sera, sera", what will be, will be or "Si Dios quiere".  

This plan didn't come to me in a dream, but it was delivered by an angel.

So it's MAN UP time.

US

Well, everyone, looks like I will be returning to the US.  It's not because I couldn't handle life here.  Life here is super.  The main reason I came to Uruguay was to be with Fabiana Ponzoni.  Yesterday she told me that she doesn't love me and doesn't see any future in us staying together.  I asked her why she no longer loves me and she doesn't know the answer to that question.  It is like asking someone, "why do you love me?", we accept because for the answer to that question.  We should be able to accept the same answer to the question, "why don't you love me?".  It's not because of anything I did or didn't do.  She wants to be alone with her children.  It is going to be a hard life for her.  She will have to find a job that pays below what people in the US consider minimum wage, selling clothing at a streetside vending area.  She will have to sell her car because she won't be able to afford the payment.  She will have to take the children out of private school and they will have to go to public school, hasn't killed anyone yet that I know of, it's just the difference in the level of education provided.  Right now she gets about 9000 pesos from her ex for "child support" that equals about $500.  With that she has to buy groceries, pay water bill, electric bill, phone bill, internet, buy firewood, buy propane for the stove.  Let me put it in a different perspective.  I am making a little over $2700 per month from Social Security, TMRS and a veteran pension, and that is stretched to the limit by the end of the month.  She will eventually have to sell the house and try and buy another one with half the money she gets from the sale of this house.  This house is about 1785 square feet and will probably sell, if she is lucky, for $80,000.  The last offer on the house was $60,000 and her lawyer told her she might now get more than that for it.  The downside to all this is that there isn't a house here selling for $30,000 that would be worth living in.  I am returning to the US with a lot of regrets, but there is absolutely nothing I can do about things.  When someone doesn't love you, you can only love them for so long without reciprocation. I am making an appeal this afternoon to see if she will accept it.  Valentina, her daughter loves me like a father, I am actually more of a father to her than her real father.  I am proposing that I stay here for her sake. I didn't stay with my daughters and I suffered for it, I stayed with my second wife for the sake of our son and he is paying for it.  Any opinions?  I am open to any suggestions?  Of course, if she doesn't go for the proposal I will be headed back to the States the first week in July or sooner.

Wonderful Life

South America

Just wanted to drop this little note to all my fine readers.

I am still waking up in the mornings absolutely amazed that I am living in South America.  I am getting accustomed to living here.  I made the statement the other day, in spanish, of course, that I remember when I first arrived and we drove through the city I was amazed at everything I saw.  Now I am getting used to it.  I still look at some of the buildings, but it´s mostly just trying to figure out what I am looking at.  

It just seems to sink in a little deeper everyday that I am living here.  I can tell you something that I realized today.  Even though life here is full of tranquility, it is a harder life to live.  A lot of the modern conveniences that are enjoyed and taken for granted in the US are not used here.  We wash our clothes in a washing machine then hang them on clothes lines.  We heat our homes with a central fireplace and huddle up close when it gets really cold.  I usually wear a hoodie in the house and sometimes a knit hat when it is really cold.  Our floors are all tile which makes it easier to keep clean, but is really cold in the morning.  Don´t misunderstand what I am saying, I love living here and don´t miss those conveniences, I just recognize which ones are missing.  

Until next time, keep you chins up and the winds behind you.  Smooth sailing.